Fear. AKA Be very afraid (or don't?)

The other day in one of my classes we got into a (semi-)heated discussion about fear and it’s place in society, particularly the topic that I brought up was fear and it’s relation to money.  I voiced my thoughts on how I believe that money is used (amongst many other things) to control people with fear, and how that fear is then perpetuated into our own lives, decisions, and how we treat others.  A lot of interesting and random topics were pulled into the discussion which got me thinking about how fear affects different people’s lives and how it shapes them into who they ultimately are.

Think about that for a minute: Fear shapes people into who they are.

I have only recently begun to let fear go and trudge forward with reckless abandon.  What I mean by that is for my entire life, my choices have been completely dependent upon planning, specific assumed (hoped for) outcomes, and of course fear of an unpleasant result.  The down side to that calculated lifestyle is that I have watched a great deal of opportunities, possibilities and dreams pass me by as I stare in awe at those around me who are “somehow” making it happen for themselves while thinking to myself, frustrated, “I want that, I wish I wasn’t so afraid”.  After much discussion with a few specific people who I love and admire, and a lot of soul searching, reading and thinking, I decided it was finally time.  Finally time to embrace complete surrender to my natural impulses without restraint or moderation and grant myself freedom from inhibition or conventionality.  And so, I let go. I leapt, and let the net appear.

Was I afraid? Heck yeah.

But did I finally feel alive?  OH YEAH. 

I finally started feeling like I was in control, and that the things I was not (am not) in control of yet, was (is) for a reason.  The world has become more understanding, and I have begun to understand a bit more of the world.

Yesterday I was at my school’s art gallery and a buddy of mine said something to me that I don’t think could have sounded any better than anything I’ve ever heard; Although I do not desire affirmation, it was amazing to hear this statement from someone.  And it was probably something I will remember for the rest of my life.  He said, “You know? I really admire how you live your life. It’s just like you are so… free… you are just going with it, you know? And that’s what I like. I want that.”

And I responded, “You already have it.  Just don’t be afraid…”